Ahoy, Mateys!
As ye know we live in the bearded age. Wherever ye go it’s beards and beards galore. The Cap’n loves it and surely so do you. With 2017 really underway now, the Cap’n thought it’s high time (no… not high times… that’s after sundown when the ship is docked) to look at trending beard styles. Ye don’t want the lassies to think yer a backward swashbuckler.
A flattering and oft seen style is the “Balbo” – if ye have ever seen any incarnation of Iron Man, ye know what I’m talkin’ about. That buccaneer in the red suit with all of the smart-alecky remarks indeed wears a “Balbo.” If ye like the look and yer Pepper Potts does too, go for it. The “Balbo” looks especially good on pirates with a narrow chin.
Next up is the “circle beard.” It’s basically yer standard beard – a combination of mustache and rounded (fairly closely) cropped beard on yer chin. Since that particular style makes yer mug look well-groomed without going overboard, it’s a versatile style which will serve most pirates well. Even those who are landlubbers and have to schlepp to the office every day. It’ll look best on ye, if yer mug be round or oval.
Lots of swashbucklers also wear an extended goatee these days. Probably ‘cause they like the name: it’s called the “Hollywoodian.” It’s a combination of a goatee and a mustache. Unlike with a circle (standard) beard, yer takin’ off the hair on the sideburns. If ye have a square face, this style will make ye look good.
Any X-Men fans in the house? If ye are, then ye may have noticed Wolverine’s beard style. It has a name: Friendly Mutton Chops. Why? I don’t know – Wolverine doesn’t always seem all that friendly to me. What ye have to do to achieve this style is to let yer mustache and sideburns grow until they meet each other, all the while shaving the hair on yer chin. If ye have a circular mug, this would look good on ye. But be careful, ye don’t suddenly wanna sprout bone claws.
Then of course there’s the full beard. Lots of pirates prefer this style. It’s masculine and takes less time to groom than some of the other styles. And it accentuates yer features – whatever they may be – quite well. But, ah, there’s the rub, ye should only attempt to grow a full beard if you’ve been gifted with good genetics. Here’s the thing, brave swashbuckler, some pirates grow patchy beards, others grow thin beard, and some have total bald spots on their chin. If that be yer problem, please, matey, make the Cap’n proud and don’t attempt to grow a full beard. Some buccaneers don’t get that through their undoubtedly very thick skulls. If yer not gifted with good genetics, ye won’t be able to grow a full beard – at least not one that’ll look good.
If ye can’t grow a full beard easily, then ye certainly can’t grow our next contender. It’s called the “Garibaldi.” It’s supposed to look full and natural and round. Ye don’t even need to pay too much attention to it. Ye gotta style the lower area once in a while to keep the round shape. Essentially, the “Garibaldi” falls somewhere in the middle between a full beard and a lumberjack with a rounded bottom. So if ye don’t like stylin’ yer best asset and have good beard genetics, this is the style for you.
If ye have a rectangular face and really wanna look like Mel Gibson, we suggest you try the so-called “Imperial” which actually refers to the style of mustache. (If ye wanna be Mel, ye need to add to the ‘stache.) It’s a bit of a hassle, ‘cause ye shouldn’t really shave until ye have whiskers. Yeah, like a feline. It takes weeks to get enough growth to start styling the whiskers. But it seems plenty of pirates have that type of patience, ‘cause it’s a very popular style these days.
And, lastly, on our list of trendy beard styles, we’ve got the stubble. Doesn’t matter what lengths. Short, medium, or long stubble – it’s all good. Stubble is in. Maintaining yer stubble is really not difficult. Ye just have to trim it every couple of days to the desired length. The big plus of this style is that it really looks good with all face shapes.
So, pirates, what’s your preferred style and why?
Let us know. The Cap’n and his crew are always happy to hear from ye.
Cheers,
The Cap’n
