Ahoy, Mateys! As ye may know, the Cap’n resides in sunny Southern California. But, believe it or not, it’s gotten cold. Really cold. Well, as really cold as it can get in Southern California. So all us Angelinos have hunkered down, staying indoors wondering how the brave swashbucklers on the East Coast are managing. So…
Ahoy, Mateys! Cap’n Jim here. And it’s time for another yarn by ye old seafarer. We shall continue our series of “beards in alternate history.” What’s that, ye ask? Well, check out our video about what really caused the “Fall of the Roman Empire” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsRDXTc61sc Below ye can see that dashingly handsome devil –…
Ahoy, Mateys! ‘Tis a brand new year. Again! Sometimes, when I sit in my cabin at night sanding down the splinters in my peg leg, I wonder how time flies so quickly. One day, yer a young whipper snapper and the next yer an old sea dog. Mind ye, not that people know that I’m…
Lads! As yer Cap’n writes this, I be just days away from me birthday. Not sure why we celebrate this day. Who wants to be a year older? Let’s face it, with the exception of the ultra-rich and the globalist elites who seem curiously impervious to meeting their maker, all of us kick the proverbial…
Ahoy, Mateys! Last year, the Cap’n opined – after all, he loves opining – on the perfect stocking stuffers for yer best asset. The Cap’n got many messages in a bottle from lads (and even some lassies) who appreciated his frank, knowledgeable and, of course, opinionated opinion on the topic of “best stocking stuffers for…
Ahoy, Mateys! ‘Tis the season… again. The season when yer most likely freezin’ yer tail off and dreamin’ of summer. When yer bemoanin’ the lack of sun and suddenly understand why the old Celts worshipped that glowin’ orb. In other words, winter be upon us. If ye have a beard and live in a not-so-temperate…
Ahoy, lads! Cap’n Jim here to share with ye what we’ve been up to the last few weeks. We received an “invitation” from a certain ‘Lord Mayor’ in a sleepy Irish seaside town that shall go unnamed. A cunning, clever conniver after yer Cap’n’s own dark heart, Lord Mayor told us that the town’s…
Ahoy, Mateys! Today, let’s talk not of the beauty of the beard, but how ye can ruin said beauty. Not that we’d ever do it on purpose. But sometimes even a mighty buccaneer makes mistakes. Let’s start with an all-too-obvious snafu (yeah, that stands for “situation normal all fucked up” and pretty much describes the…
Ahoy, all ye lubbers, scoundrels, ruffians, rogues, and salts! Now I have heard tell among the crew that me reputation may not be as stellar as it once was. Aye, yer Cap’n be known as many things — pirate, lover, entrepreneur, and man about beard. Indeed I have spent many hours pontificating on the subject…
Ahoy, Mateys! Today, let’s talk about another of the beard’s many functions – as a good luck charm. Now, mind ye’, the Cap’n has always known that. He’s been marauding through the Seven Seas for a very long time and his beard has kept him in luck – ye know, good mates, good wenches, good…