Ahoy Mateys! Last week we talked about takin’ care of yer eyebrows. This week we wanna talk about yer sideburns. And, yeah, we’re using the “royal we” here, since the Cap’n not only talks about himself in the third person but is also multi-faceted. So, let’s talk about yer sideburns. Here is the most important…
Ahoy, Mateys! Well, first the bad news: yer beard might not be the only thing to give yer age away. Your eyebrows can also be a culprit. None other than the Cap’n himself has noticed that lately. My beard has already been going gray for about a decade, but my eyebrows…? That’s new. And disturbing….
Ahoy, Mateys! It be that time of year again. Ye know what I’m referring to. The season dreaded by every bearded pirate on the seven seas: summer. To not coin a phrase: it’s hard for a beard out there in the summer. Ye gotta deal with the heat, the sweaty beard, and the dried out…
Ahoy, Mateys! Let’s talk about thick beards. You know, the type a Viking would be proud of. Often the crew asks me how to get a thick beard. Well, mateys, this is what ye got to do: First of all, remember that individual beard hairs grow at a different rate. Some faster than others. So…
Ahoy, Mateys! Let’s talk about goatees. They’re great to grow if yer mug is on the round side or yer chin isn’t as pirate-y as ye want it to be. One thing to consider before deciding on a goatee is the difference between yer skin tone and hair color. If yer hair color is very…
Ahoy, Mateys! Let’s talk about a really painful subject: ingrown facial hair. Ye know how it goes, pirates. Ye shape yer beard by removing stubble from parts of yer face. And the next thing ye know suddenly ye get a little lump and it’s painful too. That little lump is an ingrown facial hair and…
Ahoy, Mateys! Let’s talk about our favorite asset — our facial hair! Why do we have it? How did it come about? Charles Darwin thought there was an evolutionary explanation. He thought beards played a role in sexual selection — the lasses prefer their pirates with some facial hair. Modern evolutionary psychologists have confirmed that….
Ahoy Mateys! Mateys, before ye can take care of yer beard, ye need to grow it. Ah, there be the rub. Often that is the hardest part and many a pirate quits in despair and gets the razor out. Don’t, matey! Fight through it, cause the end result is well worth it. The Cap’n has…
Ahoy Mateys! Some of the crew have been askin’ what to do with that space between their nose and their upper lip and, as ye know, the Cap’n be a big fan of the mustache. Now, a mustache is often like buried treasure — it doesn’t look like much until ye dig it out properly….
Ahoy, Mateys! Now sometimes the crew seeks advice, because they have a… shall we say “pirate problem” at home. Their significant other can’t stand their beard. At all. Hate it, they do. And they aren’t shy about letting their pirate know about that. Mind ye, if said pirate be a lass — well, we can…